In recent months I have felt a distinct tug on my heart to get prepared. Pay off lingering debt, finish projects around the house, and wrap up shop by the end of the year. Logically, I am sure your next question would obviously be, get ready for what? Ironically enough, I have the same question.
Luckily, I have the answer to an even more important question which would be where is all this coming from? The tugging on my heart, the uncertainty in my career, the extreme desire and hunger to do more for God's Kingdom can only be coming from one place and that is our Lord and Savior! This is the one thing I do know for certain and at the end of the day it makes things alot easier because suddenly I am not concerned with the other great big question marks in my life. I take comfort in knowing that all of this, including the great big question marks, are all directly from him because he is doing something. He is preparing me for a path. He is preparing me to become an even more faithful servant and follower of his Grace and Glory because God is always at work for us!
I feel so certain of this unforeseen path that it actually sometimes scares me. What if there is nothing big or huge he is wanting me to do? What if there is not some huge sacrifice that he wants me to make? As my Dad has always told me, I could "what if" myself to death and I am learning that this is how the enemy attacks me. I have become much stronger in so many other areas that this one where he knows he can nip away. The enemy just chips away little by little hoping to eventually crumble my faith and certainty of God's plan for me. I am learning that the sacrifice he wants me to make may not be with my job or the path may not be something that necessarily involves my day to day life but there is something there. Something is happening!
Through this journey - I have had such amazing support from my hubby! I am a very black/white/grey person while Jeff has a tendency to be very black and white. While this is often the cause of many arguments, it has recently become the foundation behind much of his support. For Jeff, his support of me is easy and unconditional. He supports me because he knows that whatever is going on and whatever happens is from God. Therefore, God will provide. God will take care of it and us and will provide for our family no matter what I am being called to do or not do because that is his plan for us. To Jeff it is as plain and simple as that. This is something very reassuring to hear when there are times that I am scared. Scared of the unknown and scared that we all might be living in a van down by the river if my contract at work expires and I don't have a job.
Not sure if you remember this skit from Saturday Night Live with Chris Farley about living in a van down by the river but as you can tell - one of my favorites. It's a classic!
This about the time time that my Heavenly Father reaches down and gently reminds me -
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you , plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Now how can anyone argue with that kind of promise?!
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