You will have to excuse my non-wifey post for a moment. About the only thing connection this post will have with being a wife is the fact as I sit here typing this, I am a wife. That's all I got for you but that should count for something right?
You see, I am just needing to vent and share my journey for a moment. I have learned that sometimes writing and getting my thoughts out serves as a bit of therapy for me. My career is in a very interesting place right now - limbo land. Limbo land is not a good place for anything, anytime, anywhere. Often the state of limbo is what will drive you the most crazy and yet here I am.
My most recent devotional was about seeing God in the little things that happen every day. I think it is important to see him in everything but often those little things are what we miss. I am so incredibly thankful for all the blessings God has given me - many of which I am so unworthy! However, sometimes it is hard to battle those human emotions of fear and worry that often accompany a "trial" you are going through in your life.
After seven years in the nonprofit/fundraising/communications/event planning field - I was recruited for a position that I was beyond thrilled to accept. I had worked really hard to work my way up the "food chain" and earn a positive reputation in our community. Then, to actually be recruited for a position - what an honor. I was excited to make the shift and did so with every intention that I would one day retire from this position and facility because there were so many exciting possibilities for all of the years in between. Then, as it often does, life happened and of course politics. While I was recruited by an exceptional group of executives who I am delighted to still call my friends and mentors, a complete restructure of the facility took place. The restructure included massive layoffs starting with the executive team. As it gradually filtered to our office, I knew my name was on the chopping block because not only was I recruited by a team who was no longer in place but I was also the most recently hired team member in our office. Around the same time, a great friend (who knew what was going on) contacted me regarding a communications position that her company had just created and needed to fill asap. Well wouldn't you know - I was getting ready to need a job! The only catch is that it was a contractor position which translates to temporary but I was not worried. God had provided this great opporotunity for me right when I needed it and I knew he would provide again. Fast forward to present day - my contract expires October 1....as in a few months away.
Over the course of the past year, I have gained so much experience and learned so many new things. Wonderful attributes I am happy to add to my resume. I have also learned alot about myself and what I want out of my career and this unexpected path God has taking me on. You see, it always seems to happen in the midst of a trial, I stress and worry and never fully and completely turn it over to God. Then, after it is all said and done, I look back thinking - Man, God is so good and totally provided for me. I should have just completely let go of it all along....just as he is always asking me to do. However, this time around, I made it a point to let "Jesus take the wheel". I am just sitting in the backseat and trying not to be too much of a backseat driver.
Over the past year and a half my relationship with God has strengthened, deepened, and become more intimate in a way I had only ever heard about. I have a desire to do more for him and am praying everyday that he will show me the way and how I can better serve him and minister about his love. Who knows, maybe that will be through my next position or maybe not. Or maybe my next position will open up a door to begin the journey of doing more work for him. Who knows?! Well, God does but right now he is the only one. So, as the fear of the unknown and "what if's" try to creep in and crowd my mind, I am going to choose to beat them off with a bat because I trust in his divine plan for me! I have a saying hanging on my office wall that pretty much sums it up -
"Good Morning! This is God, I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help. So, relax and have a great day!"
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